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Once again, having the opportunity to review our videos together was useful. In particular, we could see the progression of the coaching conversations from the first session to the second. We both reflected that having the second video/coaching session following the group interaction allowed for a deepened dialogue. We were more able to approach a sense of genuine relevance, rather than feeling like we were completing “an exercise in coaching”. To me, the first session of the dialogue felt less spontaneous, and perhaps more mechanistic. In reviewing it, I felt a sense of things getting bogged down in the story details (on both sides), rather than getting to the heart of the experience, and defining the real issue. However, by the second session, both segments of the conversation felt like we were able to approach the real, underlying experience, and thereby identify possible skilful responses in each setting.
With respect to action plans, we did explore potential options and possible practical outcomes. We did not delineate timelines or accountability markers, but did have more sense of “what do I control in this setting, and what is outside of my control?”, and had some dialogue regarding what adaptation or growth might resemble in our respective situations, given those limitations.
The adapted R2C2 model is useful in providing a structure for this kind of conversation. I think both of us also continue to reflect on the difference between coach/coachee roles, and that of other roles we inhabit in our professional contexts (educator, mentor, therapist, administrator, etc).I agree. Listening for themes (at this point) feels challenging. I found the list/table in the resources helpful. I think I need to spend some time with that list, reflecting on the various themes, such that they are more likely to come to mind in the course of the actual conversations.
I agree, Laresa. I feel like there is an art to setting the stage for a good coaching relationship. It feels a bit different to me than other contexts (that I find easier). And to incorporate appropriate goals into that early space in a natural way, as well, feels like important learning.
I think the biggest challenge will be to establish the relationship container within which the coaching conversation will occur. This has to happen quite quickly. If this is solid, the other aspects seem like they would flow more easily. Clarifying the context, and exploring reactions and realities will require thoughtful listening and attention.
In meeting to review our videos, Thomas and I reflected on the experience of participating as coach and coachee. In particular, the fact that this interaction and relationship is both similar to and different from other roles we play: teacher, consultant, mentor, peer, friend, therapist, etc. As coach and coachee, there was the sense of being on equal ground, without a significant power differential. We also observed that, in this exercise, the ‘contract’ felt somewhat undefined.
Watching the videos gave time for reflection. Neither of us has had the opportunity to watch ourselves in this kind of setting in a long time. It was interesting to be able to watch and track the ‘coach’ questions and the inquiry in a way that is difficult to do in the moment. “What” questions, and summarizing worked well. I could see that I will benefit from continuing to work on slowing down, and leaving more space!
I think we both enjoyed the process of the exercise and the review more than expected. There is no substitute for actually playing the roles and working on the skills.
I love the Stephen Covey quote at the start — ‘listening with the intent to reply’. I certainly relate to this! I think, for me, that learning to ‘slow down’ will also be a challenge. I relate it specifically to this process of listening for meaning. While I think I am good at extracting meaning from dialogue with patients, I think that in a coaching setting (and perhaps more generally), I would benefit from listening more deeply, and moving/speaking more slowly.
I would also like to work on giving/receiving useful and thoughtful feedback.
And also not jumping in to offer solutions.I’m looking forward to learning the nuts and bolts of coaching in a more formalized sense, going from playing by ear to being able to read music!